When You're Standing Tall Before The Man...

As if this muthafucka needed an introduction. But in case you be one dense ass bitch, I'll spell it out for ya - Any and all rants about any and all things can be directed to this here forum. Rant on mah brothas!

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Gomer
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Re: When You're Standing Tall Before The Man...

Post by Gomer » Tue Feb 16, 2010 10:27 am

Here we go again!

Headin home after work on base last night - seeing as how I've been given the opportunity to score some overtime for the next month and a half, I'm rollin' out around 7:00 pm. In light of my recent harassment by base law enforcement, coupled with the fact that I'm sportin' THE BEAST (aka my Tercel), I'm being extra cautious about my speed.

I hit a 45 zone with several intersections controlled by stop signs. I roll up to the first stop sign and come to a full and complete stop - I'm not even chancing a "California Stop" on base at night when I can't see what the other cars around me are. As I come to my stop, I notice a guy in a late model Eclipse pull up right next to me. He totally rolls the stop sign - pulls up, slows down, and just goes through without stopping completely. I arrived at the stop sign first, yet he accelerates away from the sign before me. Now even though I know I could've smoked this fool in the mighty Tercel, I decide that discretion is the better part of valor and take it nice and slow.

As I accelerate from the stop sign, I notice Mr. Eclipse is accelerating ridiculously slowly. I pass him with ease without even trying (and I'm not exaggerating at all here - I wasn't unleashing the fury of the mighty Tercel one bit, I was pulling away from the stop sign nice and slow, for the same reasons I mentioned above). This entire scenario repeats itself at the next 2 stop signs: I arrive at the stop sign first, come to a complete stop, he arrives after me, rolls thru the stop sign, then accelerates so slowly that I casually pass him each time.

By the time we've arrived at the 3rd stop sign, we've hit a 55 mph area. This entire time I've been keeping my speed within 5 mph below the posted speed, just to be safe. As I (slowly) pass Mr. Eclipse once more, it comes out of nowhere - the unmistakable flashing of red and blue cop car lights in my rear-view mirror.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK! :x

I pull over, genuinely wondering why in the hell I'm being pulled over. Again, I never breached the posted speed limit at any point, and was coming to a full and complete stop at every stop sign I encountered (which is certainly more than I can say for Mr. Eclipse). Maybe it's my registration tags? I just renewed the Tercel's registration last week (on time) but forgot to actually put the tags on my car - but they still say "Feb 2010" so how could he know they might be expired? Does he think I was performing "unsafe accelerations" because I was passing the stop-sign rolling douchenozzle on my right? Does he just feel like doing a random search of my vehicle (something they are allowed to do on base without any probably cause)? All of this is spinning through my head as I patiently wait for the cop to approach me.

Naturally, the cop takes his sweet-ass time getting out of his car, leaving me ample time to jump to all kinds of ridiculous conclusions about why I've been pulled over. Finally, he walks up to my window and asks how I'm doing, can I see your driver's license, insurance, registration, yadda yadda. Thankfully, all of my paperwork is current and in order and I hand it over. As I'm giving him my ID he asks, "Are you from California?" I say "Yeah...," wondering if maybe I've overlooked some obvious California driving law.

Cop: "Well the reason I pulled you over is because California law states that you have to have two sources of illumination lighting up your rear license plate."

Me: "..."

Cop: <keeps looking thru my paperwork>

Me: "So, you're saying my rear license plate lights are burned out?"

Cop: "Yes"

Jesus tapdancing Christ! Seriously?! This is what I'm getting hassled about? Nevermind the douchebag right next to me rolled through 3 stop signs without giving it a second thought. No, clearly I am the menace to society with my burned out license plate lights. Unfuckingreal.

I explain to the cop that I had no clue my license plate lights were out, as I never look at the rear of my car while it's running with the lights on (who the hell ever does?). He says that he understands and that's why he's going to let me off with just a warning. He then informs me that if he does see me driving around again without my license plate lit up that he will be "forced" to give me a ticket for it, which runs $140 ( :shock: again, seriously?!) plus a $25 bullshit fee on top of that. I thank him and proceed back to the road, where I make it home without any further interference.

So once again, despite my best efforts to be a safe and courteous driver, I get harassed over stupid bullshit. Thankfully I was once again given "just a warning," but still, come the fuck on. Here's a little perspective for you - December was my 10-year anniversary with my company. That means I've been driving out to base for over a decade now. In those first 10 years, do you know how many times I got pulled over on base? Zero, not fucking once, and that was with me driving "normally." Now all of a sudden within a 3 week time span I get hassled twice over ridiculous bullshit, while I'm making an effort to drive safer than usual. What the fuck, universe? Do you get off on fucking with my head?

So yeah...check those license plate lights before you go driving at night folks! :roll: And don't forget to tune in next week to see what Jobu gets hassled about once again! Will it be his burned out overhead light? Or maybe he'll get a fix-it ticket for that pesky "Check Engine" light he's been ignoring for over a year. Who the fuck knows! :lol:

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Metal Lord
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Re: When You're Standing Tall Before The Man...

Post by Metal Lord » Tue Feb 16, 2010 3:19 pm

Face it man, you're a threat to society.

Asshander
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Re: When You're Standing Tall Before The Man...

Post by Asshander » Tue Feb 16, 2010 5:49 pm

Gomer wrote:Here we go again!
Wow. Just wow. That's an amazing string of bad/good luck all rolled into one obnoxious ball.

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Devil's Child
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Re: When You're Standing Tall Before The Man...

Post by Devil's Child » Tue Feb 16, 2010 9:35 pm

Perhaps the base PD has an ongoing pool to see who can snag you before the end of Februrary. Winner take all.

And they seem to be wise to your "musical vehicle" routine. :lol:

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"I hope you like Norwegian black metal, because I don't do earbuds." -- Rolph, The Office, Season 9, episode 13

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Gomer
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Re: When You're Standing Tall Before The Man...

Post by Gomer » Mon Mar 01, 2010 10:09 am

I would just like to take this opportunity to inform you all that the roads are once again safe - I have replaced the Tercel's license plate lights. Breath easy. :roll:

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Re: When You're Standing Tall Before The Man...

Post by Gomer » Thu Mar 11, 2010 11:52 am

Small addendum to my original TbWD saga. I called up my insurance company today for unrelated reasons and while talking with my agent was informed that my record still had a point on it. This was after I specifically called the court within a week of my completing the online traffic school and being told by the clerk they had received the certificate of completion from the traffic school. So I called the court back today to find out what was up. According to the lady I spoke with, the point was still there because my original TbWD verdict was "guilty" which effectively closed the case. She said that since the case was closed once they got the traffic school cert, they didn't push whatever magical buttons they have over at the courthouse to clear my driving record, which resulted in the point hanging around. She fixed it for me over the phone and as of today my record is nice and clear once again.

So, just an FYI to anyone out there who ends up in the same situation I ended up in (guilty TbWD verdict but granted a request for traffic school) - make sure you call them up after you complete the traffic school not only to make sure they received the certificate of completion, but to also ensure they actually remove the point from your record.

The somewhat disturbing thing about this is that when I received my most recent auto insurance renewal bill, I didn't even notice the very subtle amount it increased (~$50 over 6 months). Chump change at a mere $8+ per month, but the real cost was still having the point on my record in case I got hit with another ticket that I couldn't weasel my way out of. And at the rate I'm getting pulled over these days it's just a matter of time before all my "warnings" run out and the man pinches me for my busted indoor light or some other such nonsense. :roll:

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